Inspired by this bullshit.
“Welcome to Channel 6 news, I’m Martha Grange.
Tonight, a prominent politician caught on tape!
Plus, your picks for this week’s korfball matches.
But first, we go to Tom Hsu, reporting live from the West Coast, where strong winds have been buffeting the coast. Tom?”
“Yes Martha, I’m here at Port Candour, where as you can see the winds have been blowing…really fast. As the winds have risen, the locals have been asking: should they be preparing for a hurricane? We approached the Bureau of Meteorology’s Frank Dreinger for comment
Mr Dreinger? Should locals be worried about the current weather?”
“I can make no specific comments on the weather”
“But Mr Dreinger, there are certainly some very fast winds out there”
“I acknowledge that a subset of people may perceive these winds as fast”
“Should people be worried about a Tropical Cyclone?”
“Strong winds have sometimes been linked to Tropical Cyclones, but I’m unable to comment on this specific case”
“Should the residents of Port Candour be preparing for the worst?”
“Best practice would suggest that preparation for events is prudent. The Bureau can in no way endorse or disendorse the idea that preparing for any situation is necessary or expected but accepts no liability for the relative preparedness or unpreparedness for anything that may transpire.”
“So your prediction for Port Candour for the rest of the week?”
“It is the opinion of the bureau that Port Candour will likely experience weather for the rest of the week. This statement should in no way be read as a definite indication that Port Candour or its surrounding area will actually experience weather, nor that the Bureau is wholly or partially responsible for the weather experience of people, animals or property within the area. Any further correspondence must be in writing through our lawyers”
“…Back to you Martha”